Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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