He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was born a porn star she said
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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