why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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