She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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