Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
