i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize