the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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