DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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