$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
