I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
