I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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