Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
