dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
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