I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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