1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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