i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
