Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
