So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize