im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
