It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
