Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Found the puke drawer
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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