I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
