we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize