Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
