Christians are straight up FREAKS
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
