nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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