Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
there is glitter all over my balls
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
