Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
