Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
