If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
