I am puke
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
