I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
