You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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