Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
