I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
