I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
