the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize