There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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