I smell stomach acid.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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