Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
