he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
