You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
