I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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