butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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