So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
