i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize