It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize