so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
