I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
