Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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