Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
