how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
