Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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