come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i will never coherently bang her
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
