After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
