hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
