So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
