I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
