i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
