I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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